You may feel stuck, as if there is no way out. It feels like your job will never get better. The tough situation in your marriage will never change, so why try? It feels pointless to even try getting out of bed in the morning. It all feels like there is no point to anything you do. This is called hopelessness.
Hopelessness often accompanies and amplifies depression, a difficult battle of downheartedness. When one feels hopeless, it becomes difficult to move on towards the next step because that person may wonder, what’s the point?
One often doesn’t realize how deep of a rut they really are stuck in, until they have begun moving out of that rut. That doesn’t mean it is impossible to recognize when you or someone else is feeling hopeless. There are several signs to help you recognize hopelessness in yourself or others. Some signs of hopelessness are:
Exhaustion
Wanting to give up or have given up
Believing the future is empty
Seems like everything is going downhill
Feeling like a failure
Feeling like it’s too late to change
Isolation of self
Feeling unlovable
Unmotivated
Feeling as if there is a constant, unchangeable burden weighing on you
Physical pain
Difficulty getting out of bed
Seems as if you’ve lost control of your life
When one feels hopeless, they often have a difficult time recognizing the reality of the situation they are in and the ability they have to make a change. To that person, it feels like nothing can or will change. Any effort seems pointless.
However, in reality, there is the possibility of change and the effort does make a difference.
When feeling hopeless, it often hurts hearing people simply explain that “It’s all up to you, you just need to change.” It sounds so easy to them, but they don’t know. Really, inside, it seems impossible.
While gaining hope may feel like a daunting task at first, starting small with things that you can do are a great way to begin. Here are some ideas of how to make that “impossible” possible.
1. SET A GOAL
What are the one or two things you want to do today? It could be anything big or small. Make breakfast. Smile at one person to brighten their day. Take the dog on a walk. Pull weeds. Change the light bulb. Make the bed. Read your kids a story before bed. Tell your husband you love him. Do the dishes with your wife.
2. FIND A PURPOSE
You are loved. You are needed. You are important.There is someone each day that you can help. What is your purpose for the day? Your purpose could be making sure your kids know they are loved. Sharing jokes with others. Making sure the grass is mowed or the flowers are planted. Making sure your children have you.
4. Mindfulness
Mindfulness is becoming aware of the present state you are in and acknowledging how you are feeling (emotionally and physically) as well as what you’re thinking. Mindfulness helps you get out of the rut of having no hope for the future and replacing that with living in the here and now.
Read here for more on “Mindfulness”
5. Take it one day at a time
Remember that change will come and there will be better days. You don’t need to make big changes all at once. Break it up into something you can do each day. A teacher of mine once said, “I’ve learned to just take it one day at a time – so far, I’ve had a 100% success rate.” Begin with the basics, you can do one day at a time. You have already made it for thousands of days.
When feeling hopeless, find help and seek someone safe to talk to. At times, it can be hard knowing who is ready to listen and who will understand.
When you don’t know who to go, or simply want to talk to someone who knows how to help, come in for a free discovery visit. A discovery visit is a way for you to meet with a counselor here at Cache Valley Counseling to see if they are a good match for you and how they can help you with the situation you are in. Click the link to contact us and see how a discovery visit could be beneficial for you.